Chapter 32
I’m in the office at home when Aisling leans in the door, chewing on her lip as she gazes inside. Caelin texted us all that she’d had a rough therapy session this morning. He heard yelling and crying a few times, but said that he hadn’t pushed.
Instead he offered a safe place to land, and something sweet to help her bounce back after releasing so much emotion. He said that it was hard for him to not try to fix it.
I think that’s my job, though, since I fucked it up to begin with.
“Hey,” she says softly. “Can we talk?”
Taking a breath, I nod. I’ve been wanting her to come to me, I just hope it’s not to reject me. That’ll hurt like a bitch.
“Sure, come in,” I tell her. I’m not sure if she’ll want the door closed, so I leave it up to her.
Her steps are almost jerky as she comes inside, as if she’s overthinking things. I want to tell her I won’t bite, but curl my lips inward to keep myself from saying it.
“I think… we fucked up somewhere along the way,” she says. “It’s like we’re having two different conversations, and neither of us understands the other.”
“How so?” I ask, gesturing to a chair in case she wants to sit.
Dropping into the offered chair as if her legs won’t hold her anymore, I notice her hands are shaking. She’s wearing one of Domh’s sweatshirts with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of knee high socks.
She looks like a wet dream come true.
Aisling’s eyelashes flutter as she inhales deeply, and I wince as I realize my cock is rock hard. I’m also pumping aroused pheromones into the room, and I struggle to get it in check.
“I love the way you smell,” she whispers. “Being in your car, wrapped in your scent when Caelin takes your vehicle is the best kind of torture.”
“I miss you too,” I admit, swallowing thickly. My heart is beating hard as I force myself to breathe. I swear, the edges of my vision are going black as I wait her out.
“Yes,” she sighs. I can smell a hint of burned sugar cookie in the air as she sits across from me, a clear sign of her anxiety. “I think I may have been sending you mixed signals, or something.”
“What?” I ask. “How so?”
“You’re a lot more experienced with sex and kink than I am, and I was being a brat, pushing too far,” she says. “I think I got in over my head.”
“No,” I growl.
She blames herself? Absolutely not.
“Do you think…fuck,” I mutter, pushing myself back in my chair. “Can you come closer, please? I have to say something, and I need to be able to hold you while I do.”
Nodding, Aisling stands and walks quickly over. She trembles as I put my hands on her waist, guiding her to sit. My fingers squeeze her before I let go, but she reaches out to cling to one of my hands.
Swallowing hard, I lay her hand on my chest, so I can continue to hold it, and so I’m not in her personal space.
Not without permission.
“I saw things I shouldn’t have,” I murmur. “The guys and I have been together for… well, forever. We have agreements for how we play, fuck, figure out disagreements. I suck at words, so I express myself differently. You and I don’t have that kind of history, and I fucked up. You did nothing wrong. You can push as much as you want, and I’ll deal, baby girl. I don’t deserve for you to call me by my name. Call me whatever fits.”
“Aiden,” she rasps, eyes filling with tears as she shakes her head. Flinching in surprise, I feel as if I just got hit in the damn face.
“Again?” I ask, gazing at her. “Ple—”
“You don’t have to beg,” she says. “Aiden, we both screwed up.”
“I’m the alpha,” I growl. “I’m supposed to be safe, your person, the one who has shit figured out. I let my emotions and instinct push me to be someone that I don’t want to be. It’s really hard to face that I was jealous of anything and everything that didn’t involve the pack and me. You have this whole life.”
“My life is exhausting,” she admits. “I wake up tired, spend the day expecting the world to blow up on me, and then go to bed alone. What use is helping people if I can’t even help myself?”
“You need help,” I murmur, the wheels beginning to turn in my head. “Omega’s Haven is getting to be a huge project, which is incredible. Maybe put out feelers for a manager to give you space to breathe?”
“The problem is who,” Aisling sighs, dropping her head on my shoulder. “I don’t want someone taking over, not because Wren and I are perfect—”
“No, but I saw on the video how easy it is for someone to turn it into a sex trafficking ring,” I grumble. She relaxes against me, and I purr for her. I don’t want to unduly influence Aisling, but she’s anxious enough as it is.
“Will you give the guys a chance? They want to solidify their bonds and properly court you.”
“Do they?” she asks. “Why aren’t they telling me this?”
“Because I am,” I tell her with a small smirk. “I’m the fuck up, they just followed my lead. When we figure things out, we’ll have solid conversations around what you like and don’t want. They’re called hard and soft limits.”
“I kind of had an entire conversation about what that means in therapy,” she says with a small smile.
The fact that Dr. Alys talked about this with her makes my lip curl up. I’m glad they started this conversation so now I can continue it.
“Good,” I murmur. “It’s okay not to know what you like or don’t so you can experiment, but it’ll never go as far as it did in the alley. I’m… so sorry, Aisling. It all got so out of hand. I never want to hurt you again.”
Sniffling, she nods, and I can feel her tears soaking my shirt.
“Baby… I want to take myself out of the equation,” I rasp. I’m sure my racing heart beat is pounding under her ear, telling her how scared out of my mind I am right now. I’m not good enough for her.
“Date the guys, see where things go. Give them a chance, yeah?”
“Why do I feel like you’re breaking up with me?” Aisling asks, voice cracking.
“Fuck,” I sigh, shifting so I can lift her legs, so they’re draped over mine. I need a damn snuggle. Wrapping my arm around her, since my hand is still captive, I kiss her temple. “I’m not, I promise. I’ll be around, I’ll stop moping, you’ll see me every day. I just think my presence is complicating things. We can work on being friends first.”
“Friends,” she says, and I panic. No matter how I say this, it’s going to suck.
“I don’t deserve you yet,” I tell her gently. “I want to make sure I will. You feel off, right? Maybe sad when you don’t know why? Anxious?”
“Yes,” she says with a nod. “I feel a little crazy. I thought Dr. Alys was going to put me in the hospital, to be honest. It’s one of the reasons that I kept putting off my appointments.”
“You’re not crazy,” I tell her, cursing in my head. “You have Domh and Caelin’s bites, so the bonds are half formed. They’re not meant to not be reciprocated for long periods of time. Domh and Caelin can feel the echoes of your emotions, which you have this feeling of too much.”
“That’s how it feels,” she sighs. “It’s the oddest thing too. I decided I hated the color navy blue while I was nesting, but don’t know why. I love that color.”
“That’s an interesting color to decide not to like,” I tease her. Navy blue is one of my favorite colors too, though she doesn’t know that. “It’s a side effect of the bond, though. Once it’s accepted, it won’t be an issue. You’re stuck with them, baby.”
“I do like them,” she mutters. “So I should date them and see where things go?”
“Mmhmm,” I say. “Evan too.”
“I don’t want him to feel left out,” she says quickly. I think she may like him best, and that’s okay.
It’s good for his ego, anyway. He’s always worried that he would be left behind.
“I have a question,” she says.
“Another?” I tease, making her smile as she brushes away her tears.
“You’ve been leaving me things, right?”
“Yeah,” I say. “Little gifts here and there, a well placed call where it merits it. I went with your father to interrogate the grocery delivery people too. The owner had no idea why you were getting your orders messed up. However, one of the managers was paid off by ROWS, which makes the company unsafe.”
“I’m tired of grocery shopping for the shelter,” Aisling says. “I always forget something. I need to find another company.”
“Evan mentioned driving past some new food delivery trucks. It looks like a new company is doing business in Minneapolis,” I remember. “Ask him for the name. Maybe have Caelin do a little research.”
“Matchmaker,” she grumbles under her breath, making me chuckle. It feels good to tease her, to laugh. The stone that’s sitting on my chest isn’t as heavy, but I know this is just the beginning.
“Maybe so,” I rumble. “Go talk to them so you can get that checked off your list.”
“What do you know about me and my lists?” she sasses. Fuck yes.
“You like your checkmarks, don’t you, baby girl?” I growl before reminding myself to reel it in. Friends don’t do this. I’ve never been very good at friendships outside of the guys, though.
Here’s to learning new skills.
“I really do,” she murmurs, sitting up. “Thanks for the chat.”
“Anytime,” I say as I let her go and watch her stand.
I already miss her as she walks away.
Domh
Valentine’s Day
“She’s going to love it,” I remind Evan as he cleans the back of his truck.
He keeps it spotless either way, but I know he’s nervous. Things have been better between Aisling and Aiden in that they’re no longer completely ignoring each other, but I notice the longing looks he’s giving her.
I hope he knows what he’s doing, because it appears as if he’s edging himself out of our relationship with her, tattered as it may be.
“Will you detail the inside, please?” Evan complains.
Rolling my eyes, I move to open the door, seeing that it’s already pretty clean. Grabbing a garbage bag, I pick up two items of trash, and then begin wiping down the leather seats. Aisling went into the city for a half day on her own.
We made sure to drive her SUV to the house so she’d have access to it. We told her we had a surprise for her, which is true.
We are going to take a drive down to the lake that’s frozen, to watch the sun go down, and right now, Evan is making sure his ride is ready. The mattress will go in the bed of the vehicle, heaters will be at the end to keep us warm, with twinkle lights along the inside of it for a little light.
He’s packing blankets, pillows, beer, snacks, and a thermos of hot chocolate.
It’ll be a low key, fun date. Aisling loves to be outside, which is why she prefers to walk. As a pack, it feels wrong for her to be out in the cold, but we fixed that with a heated coat and gloves.
Our omega is meant to be spoiled with unique experiences. The stars are going to be gorgeous tonight, with the option for a few shooting stars. I just want to snuggle and enjoy it with her.
Caelin brought up the idea to us, and Evan fully intends to deliver, which is why he’s maniacally cleaning.
An hour later, everything is ready, and I head inside to shower and change. Aiden has roses that he is putting in a vase, making my footsteps slow.
“Those are gorgeous,” I mention casually, waiting to see what he’s up to.
“Mom dropped them off from Isla’s greenhouse,” he murmurs. Isla runs a very successful flower business, and learned how to grow them from Aiden’s mother. She’s also one of his many cousins.
Dinners with our combined families are always chaotic and fun. It reminds me that I need to call my parents. It’s been too long since I’ve checked in. I feel a little guilty about that.
“I don’t know, I felt like today should have flowers,” he grunts with a shrug.
“I’m not discounting that, though I’m kicking myself for not thinking about it. She’ll love it,” I say.
“Good. We’ll just say they’re from the pack,” he says, putting them in the entryway where she’ll see them.
“So stubborn, yet oddly sweet,” I grumble, wincing as I realize that my thoughts made themselves outside of my head.
Shit.
“Damn straight,” Aiden says with a bark of laughter, walking over to pop a kiss on my lips. “Go shower before you get sidetracked.”
“You’re right,” I mumble, wanting to lean in for another kiss.
He’s been distant with all of us, and I’ve missed him. Hopefully, things change soon. Turning away, I run upstairs to shower and change. Warm, comfortable layers is what we told Aisling to wear, and I follow suit.
Soon, I’m walking back downstairs wearing a cream long-sleeved shirt, a maroon long-sleeved open-buttoned down shirt over it, and dark washed jeans only to find Aisling walking inside, stopping abruptly when she sees the flowers.
Leaning in, she inhales deeply. Outside of the orchids that Aiden leaves for her, we haven’t given her flowers. We need to change our frame of mind from dating each other, to doing these things for her.
I’ve never dated a woman before, none of us ever have. Evan and I have fucked betas for fun, but we’ve never taken them out for breakfast after or given a shit about them.
“We have something planned for you,” I murmur, knowing she hasn’t heard me yet. I came down in socked feet, so I’m quieter than normal.
Glancing over, she blushes. I need to see more of this. I wonder how far it goes down, too, but I take a deep breath to try to stave off my erection. The front of the house smells like roses and sugar cookies.
Honestly, it’s a lost cause since they somehow work really well together.
“Do you?” she asks with a coy grin. “I saw that the truck looks immaculate.”
“Mmhmm,” I tell her, refusing to give anything away. The truck bed cover is the last thing Evan added before he went inside, so it’ll hide what he’s been working on, while Aiden packs up the snacks and beverages. “Do you need to change? You’re going to want to wear layers.”
“So something outside,” Aisling muses, walking over to me. Rising to her toes, she kisses my jaw firmly. It’s the only thing she can reach.
Grinning, I wrap my arm around her waist, lifting her so we’re eye level.
Am I showing off? A little. My shirt sleeves are shoved up to my elbows, and her breaths come a little faster as her hands run up my skin before cupping my face.
“Hey, big guy,” she rasps.
“Hello yourself, Sugar,” I say. “We’re going to have a good time.”
“I’m in your arms, so I already am,” she says softly, kissing me.
I let her control it for a moment before I’m devouring her lips, my beard brushing against her sensitive skin. I take care of my facial hair so it’s soft, but know if I’m not careful, she’ll get some beard burn.
“I want you in my arms more often,” I growl. I hate that she sleeps alone.
“I know,” she says. “I want that too. Maybe we can do more dates? I know it already says I’m yours on paper.”
I wince at the memory that I moved so fast and forged her signature, but I needed her to be ours.
“Doesn’t mean we skimp on the fun stuff,” I rumble. “Dates, movie nights, falling asleep together for naps.”
“Oh yeah?” Aisling asks, biting her lip. The way she perfumes makes me groan, burying my face in her neck.
“Fuck yes,” I say. Dropping open mouth kisses on her neck, I love the way her fingers bury into my hair, holding me closer. “Go get ready, baby. You’re so damn tempting and beautiful.”
Lifting my head, I grin down at her as I place her on her feet, watching as she winks at me before running upstairs.
“Tonight is going to be great,” Caelin rumbles, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“It really will be,” I murmur, leaning against him.
Caelin
The drive out to the lake is peaceful, the long, winding roads filled with pretty views. Aiden drove out alone in his SUV, even though I told him I’d go with him. He of course refused, because he’s one of the most stubborn men on the planet.
I wasn’t very happy about it even though he’s a big, strong alpha, the asshole is one of the more sensitive of us all.
There’s a variety of reasons that are possible, from wanting some distance from how good our omega smells, to simply deciding a drive alone sounded good. What’s scrambling my anxiety is I simply don’t know, and he didn’t want to offer up any details.
My arm wraps around Aisling’s shoulders, enjoying the way she leans toward me. While we may have been able to squeeze us all into the truck, we’re too fucking big to do so comfortably.
The roads are deserted, or so it feels, as we drive into lesser traveled areas.
Aisling is wearing thick gray leggings and a long-sleeved dark red maxi dress with a coat. I’m unsure if she’ll need the coat with the heaters, but that’s why we told her to wear layers.
It’s easier to remove clothing than add what you don’t have. Her hair is braided back off her face in a complicated way that keeps it at the base of her neck. Gray ear warmers make me smile, because she looks adorable.
Somehow, she managed to finish up in a half hour, and her lips look pouty and delicious. I have no idea how women are able to walk out as if they spent hours on themselves when they haven’t.
“We’re almost here,” Evan murmurs, turning onto a back road. I’m grateful for the good tires on the truck, because this area isn’t well maintained during the winter. It’s a bit bumpy, but nothing Evan can’t handle.
“Is that the lake?” Aisling breathes, leaning forward to see the wide expanse of the frozen water.
Evan smirks as he carefully turns the truck around, so he can back it up as close as he dares to the water.
“That’s part of the surprise,” Evan murmurs. “I’m going to set up the next part. Sit tight, beautiful.”
“You guys,” Aisling says with a small smile. Anyone else would peek to see what Evan is doing, but she simply continues to cuddle with me.
“You understood the assignment about layering I see,” Domh teases her.
Her combat boots are visible underneath her dress, and Aisling shrugs with a giggle.
“I have a thermal shirt underneath the dress,” she explains. “Dad took me snowmobiling and it was so much fun, but also so cold in the woods.”
Evan had watched her with Cian while we were stalking her, and I smirk as I remember that.
“He’s very well prepared,” I say. “Did you bring things over from the house?”
“Mmhmm. When I last went to see him, I packed a few things that I wanted to keep with me,” she says.
Aisling acts like it isn’t a big deal, but she could walk out of the house and never come back. We wouldn’t force her to stay. She’s already driving herself to work alone again. It doesn’t mean I didn’t still watch video cameras throughout the day to make sure she was okay, I absolutely did.
I’m obsessive and paranoid about her safety, especially after how ROWS spoke to her at their meeting.
Evan opens the door with a grin, helping Aisling out of the truck, and I see Aiden standing next to him. His cheeks are flushed, which means he was out here helping him while we sat in the warm vehicle.
I feel a little guilty as I get out of the truck and glance into the bed of the truck. It’s meticulously put together, a clear sign that Aiden helped, since Evan is a bit chaotic at times.
“Ready for your surprise?” Evan asks with a smile as Domh turns off the truck and joins us outside.
“Yes!” Aisling squeals, excited. I notice that we’re all grinning, unable to hide it. Our poppet is absolutely perfect.
The snow crunches under our feet as we walk, and I’m glad it isn’t fresh powder so we don’t sink. Aisling’s eyes grow wide as she sees the bed of the truck. A large mattress fits perfectly back there, and Aiden and Evan rigged a heavy tarp over the top, so it would balloon up and keep out any snow that may fall later on tonight.
It’s easier to stay warm if you’re dry.
The fairy lights light up the back of the truck faintly so we’ll be able to see, showing the heaters set up at the tailgate, which someone will move closer once everyone gets in. The thermos filled with hot chocolate is nestled on the mattress along with the pillows and blankets, and I can’t stop smiling about how it really is the perfect date.
“Wow,” she whispers, eyes wide.
“I have a laundry basket to store boots,” Evan says sheepishly, lifting it up.
“Great idea,” I praise him, loving the way he shifts with a small smile. “I wouldn’t have thought of that.”
“Come here, sweetness. I’ll boost you up,” Evan says, holding his hand out to her. He lets her come to him, and I watch as she is slowly changing us all.
There’s no reason to take what she’s willing to give so easily. In the bedroom, during a heat we may be very different, but she enjoyed that. Hmm, I need to talk to her to make sure she does.
I refuse to assume shit anymore.
Evan lifts her onto the bed of the truck, carefully taking her shoes off to drop them into the laundry basket. One by one, we follow suit, and I volunteer to be last. By the time I lift myself into the truck, tossing my shoes in before dropping the basket onto the ground, Aisling is sipping from her hot chocolate thermos, and Domh is offering her a muffin.
Smirking, I sit across from Aiden halfway down the mattress, and wink at him. He chuckles as he sees me, getting comfortable as he throws blankets over both of us. Moving the heaters, he ensures that they’re in the right place before leaning back to enjoy everything.
We’re the only ones out here, the world completely silent. The lake is a frigid, beautiful sight, and I grab a beer and hand one to Aiden before opening one for myself.
The orange and red in the sky is stunning as the sun sets, the colors streaking in front of us on nature’s version of a strip show. Breathing deeply, the crisp air combines with the scents of my pack and scent match, and I find myself relaxing completely.
Everything feels perfect in this moment. Aisling is snuggled between Evan and Domh, her coat tossed to the side, since they put out a lot of body heat together. Sipping her hot chocolate slowly, our poppet smiles as she drops her head on Evan’s shoulder and she gazes out at the sky.
“It’s so beautiful out here,” she says in a hushed voice. “I don’t think I’ve ever visited the lake like this before.”This content © 2024 NôvelDrama.Org.
“Wait for the stars to come out,” I tell her. “That’s what we’re here for, poppet.”
“It feels as if we’re the only people on the lake,” Aiden murmurs. “I’ve been cursing the cold temperatures, ready for spring, but it really is gorgeous when you’re with the right people.”
Hiding my smile as I take a sip of my beer, I nod. I don’t often get to hear Aiden wax poetic, but he’s right.
The stars slowly make their appearance once the sun goes down, and we all snack as we whisper to each other and grin. It feels wrong to be too loud for some reason.
Slowly, the stars begin to appear, and Evan shifts to pull away more of the tarp, so we can see more of the sky. While I can feel the possibility of snow in the air, I don’t think it’ll fall. Our breath fogs up in front of us for a moment before disappearing, the heaters are doing their jobs.
We’re out here for a while when a shooting star flies by, and Aisling gasps. Thankfully, she doesn’t have her drink in her hand since she’s done, when she leans forward in shock and awe.
“Wow,” she breathes. “It’s so different in the city.”
Her hands hold Evan and Domh’s as she gazes out at the sky, and I place my hand on her thigh as I breathe deeply. Aiden looks happy as he gazes at his pack, head leaned back as he relaxes. It’s been a busy few months, and we’ve all been stressed out as well.
I’m glad he’s letting it all go so he can enjoy this. Aisling nods off around nine o’clock, and Evan and Domh just make sure she’s comfortable.
“I swear, I think she needed this as much as we did,” Aiden rumbles. “I’m going to start putting out feelers for a decent manager so she doesn’t have to put in so many hours at the haven.”
“She looks lighter today,” I agree. “I think I read somewhere that people who work in social work need to make sure they take care of themselves too. Wren does a lot behind the scenes, but Aisling can only be in so many places at once.”
“I would swear Mom said my cousin Aurelia is moving to Minneapolis and is looking for a job. I’m going to call her,” Aiden muses. “Aurelia was in project management when she lived in New York, but she’s looking for something different. I think she’s burned out.”
“Would working at Omega’s Haven help or hurt that?” Domh asks.
“I think help,” Aiden says with a small smile. “It was a thankless job, even though she liked seeing the pieces come together. The background from the previous job could be a benefit since there’s so many moving parts.”
“I think it’s worth a shot,” I agree, glancing at the sleeping omega. “Aisling needs the help.”
Hanging out quietly as we drink beer and enjoy each other’s company, I have to say this is the best Valentine’s Day that we’ve ever had.