From Bully To Beloved

Bianca kept her eyes closed when she awoke. She had had the most marvelous dream and she didn’t want to wake up out of that world. She had been sitting on the front porch of a house in a rocking chair with a baby girl on her lap. In the front garden, there were two young boys throwing a ball with their dad, her husband-Jaxon. After the game, they had all come running up to the porch to beg for cookies and milk and Jax had taken the baby from her and kissed her. She had kissed him back with passion and seen the love and devotion shining from his eyes before they had walked into the house. And then she had woken up. She wanted to go back to the reality of her dreams. If only, there was a way for her to do that.

She felt an arm snake around her stomach and she stilled as she remembered that Jaxon was here with her. Only the circumstances were very different from her dream. She wondered how long it would take him to act like a jerk this morning. She could almost laugh at the shock in his face last night after she had told him she loved him. He had looked like a deer in headlights. She would always remember his face the night he broke her heart. She was a fool. She wished she hadn’t told him she loved him; at least then, she would still have her self-respect.

As she felt his hand move up to her breast, she jerked away from him and jumped out of the bed. She walked quickly to the bathroom without looking at him and turned on the shower. The dream had made her realize that she didn’t want to play this cat and mouse game with Jaxon anymore. It wasn’t fair to her. She wasn’t going to let him sleep with her and take Alexandra to dinner. She deserved better. She vowed to herself that she would be strong from here on out. As she washed her hair, she thought about Cherrel and wished that she could talk to her. Cherrel didn’t even know that she was pregnant. She had a feeling that Cherrel wouldn’t be shocked. She seemed to be in the middle of her own scandalous affair. Bianca felt positive that Cherrel was sleeping with Joshua, and it made her immensely sad; her friend was too sweet to be a mistress.

“Bianca.” Jaxon banged on the door. “Are you nearly done? I have to leave soon.”

“Of course you do,” she mumbled as she washed the shampoo out of her hair.

“Bianca.” He banged hard again. “Please open up. I have to leave in five minutes.”

Bianca ignored him and starting humming to herself. After a few minutes, the banging stopped and the room went silent. A few seconds later, she heard the front door bang shut and she scrubbed her skin until it was a tingling red. She felt the tears running out of her eyes. Tears that she didn’t even know she was holding in until they were streaming down her face. She had secretly hoped that Jaxon would try harder, that he would wait for her to get out of the shower so that they could talk. That maybe he would tell her that he loved her too, maybe even propose to her so that they could be a family like in her dream. Her mind flashed back to the headline she had seen the day before that declared that he was in engaged to Alexandra.

As she walked back into her empty room, she stared at the tousled sheets and clothes on the floor and she knew that something wasn’t adding up. If he loved Alexandra so much, why was he coming to spend the night with her? And they hadn’t yet had a conversation about the baby, at least not a serious one.

She sighed as her phone started ringing and she saw it was Jaxon. She was going to ignore it but anger got the better of her and she grabbed the phone. “What?” she snarled upset.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

“Whoa, what happened to you, Bia?” His voice was soft.

“Nothing. I’m just surprised you are calling me so soon. You normally fuck me and bail for at least 24 hours.”

“What?” He sounded confused.

“After you bed me, you don’t talk to me for at least 24 hours.” She spoke slowly. “Comprende?”

Jaxon sighed, “Bianca, it’s not what you think, wait hold on a second.” Jaxon covered the phone with his hand and Bianca could hear a woman’s voice in the background. She pressed the phone as hard as she could into her ear so that she could hear the conversation better but all of the words sounded muffled.

“Bianca?” Jaxon came back to the phone; this time is tone was brusque. “We need to talk. There are some things we need to sort out.”

“Okay.” She was pretty sure that the baby talk was about to happen.

“Meet me for lunch?” He sounded distracted and Bianca wondered what was going on. And then she heard the woman’s voice say, “Jaxon, come. We have some unfinished business.” And then she laughed; a loud silky laugh and Bianca knew that it was Alexandra.

“You’re with Alexandra?” Bianca’s voice held disbelief. “You hurried out of my bed to go and see Alexandra?”

“It’s not like that, Bianca.” His voice was urgent. “Please meet me for lunch.”

“You can fuck off, Jaxon.” She spoke angrily, the words tripping out of her mouth. “I don’t want to see you again.”

“Bianca.” His voice was strained. “Look, I have to go. I’ll pick you up in 3 hours.”

“Whatever.” Bianca hung up the phone and screamed. She threw the phone at the wall and looked around for other items to throw. She grabbed a brush and threw that and then went and banged her fists against the wall, tears streaming out of her eyes.

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.” She screamed and shouted as she banged her fists. “I hate you.” She collapsed onto the ground and sobbed, unable to keep in her frustration and sadness. A loud bang made her jump and she sat on the ground frozen in fear.

“Bianca?” Cherrel’s voice called out to her and Bianca heard her walk towards her room. “Bianca?” Cherrel peaked into the room and saw Bianca sitting there, wide-eyed and teary. “Omg Bianca, what happened?” She ran over to her friend in concern, “Are you okay?”

Bianca nodded, unable to talk. She stared at Cherrel as if she was a stranger she was seeing for the first time. She looked different. She had cut off her long blond hair and now her face was surrounded by a pixie cut. She looked older and sadder. But Bianca was too distraught to ask her what was wrong.

“Oh Bianca.” Cherrel sat down next to her and hugged her. “Are your aunt and uncle okay?”

Bianca nodded once again and cried into her friends shoulder. They sat there for a few minutes before Bianca’s phone started ringing. Cherrel reached over, grabbed it, and handed it to her. Bianca didn’t recognize it and so she answered it.

“Hello.” She spoke slowly so she could regulate her breathing.

“Hello, this is Mildred Hubble from The Gottesman Libraries at TeaCherrel’s College, Columbia University.”

“Okay?” Bianca’s voice showed her confusion. “How can I help you?”

“You left a notepad at the desk yesterday. I thought you might need it. You seemed to be very caught up in your research.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Bianca didn’t really care anymore. She didn’t care about Jaxon’s past or at least she tried to tell herself that. What was the point?

“Also, you didn’t shut the computer down properly last night.” The old lady sounded miffed.

“Sorry.”

“Well, as I was shutting it down for you, I noticed that you had done the search incorrectly and had only accessed certain websites. If you can come in today before 5pm, I can show you how to access all the sites and government files.”

“Government files?” Bianca’s breath caught.

“Yes.” The lady sounded excited. “I can help you access files that people don’t even know exist.”

“Oh?”

“I think you should come in, Bianca.” The lady spoke with urgency. “I don’t know why you were looking up this Jaxon Aschmidt, but there is some information I think you should see.”

“Oh, ok.” Bianca’s heart started beating fast. “I’ll come in right away.”

“Good.” And with that, the lady hung up.

Bianca looked up and saw Cherrel staring at her in concern. “Are you okay, Bianca? What’s going on?”

“I’m fine. I’ll tell you later, okay?” Bianca didn’t want Cherrel to know that it was her brother, Jaxon that had made her feel like this.

“It’s a guy, I’m guessing.” Cherrel laughed bitterly.

“Yes.” Bianca paused as she stood up. “Are you okay, Cherrel? When did you get back?”

“I got back last night.” Cherrel’s voice caught. “I went to see him. We spent the night in a seedy hotel. I thought things were going to change. That he would have missed me. But he is still the same.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “I need to get over it.”

“You’re better than him, Cherrel.” Bianca spoke earnestly. “You don’t need a married man.”

“Who said he was married?” Cherrel answered her angrily.

“No one.” Bianca’s voice was soft. She couldn’t help her friend if she didn’t want to acknowledge the truth.

“He loves me,” Cherrel mumbled. “He told me I’m the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“Don’t they all?” Bianca mumbled back. Jaxon had made her feel like a million dollars with his wonderful words.

“He meant it,” Cherrel shot back. “He couldn’t have made love to me the way that he did without loving me.”