Indebted to the Mafia King

*Cal*

Eventually, we manage to finish our showers with Heidi helping me scrub my back and massage my stiffened muscles. Her tiny, smooth hands feel so good as they glide over my soaped skin that I almost give up on letting her tend to me and move us into round two.

I watch as Heidi washes her hair, complaining that she already did that earlier today and wasn't planning on doing it again. She's so cute when she pouts. Then we dry ourselves, heading for the bed right after.

I'm so drained and exhausted today that my brain feels like it's melting inside my head. I have no strength to take Heidi out to eat or even to go down to the kitchen and cook something for us.

Lying under the sheets, our legs entangled, the air conditioner on full blast, and our bodies embracing each other is helping me recharge somehow.

This feeling is so unusual to me, but I find myself more and more addicted to it, and it scares me how much I think about these moments when I'm not with her.

Heidi's stomach growls as if on cue in the silence of the room, and she hides her face in my chest with embarrassment.

"I'm guessing you didn't have anything to eat, am I right?" I tease her.

"I was going to cook dinner for us, but then I found the guns and got pissed off. I..." She sighs, looking up at me with pleading eyes. "I'm starving now and craving fast food."

"Just pick what you want, and I'll have it delivered here," I encourage her, handing her my phone.

"What are you in the mood for?" she asks, scrolling through the food app.

"You," I tease, pinching her below her rib cage.

"I'm serious." She squirms, laughing.

"Me too," I reply. "But, whatever you want, I'm good with it. I'm just so tired, I could pass out without eating anything."

"Why are you so tired today? Did something happen?"

I know what's eating me up, and it has nothing to do with my job. Or the deals that went wrong. Or even the cartel being on our trail. Truth is, I couldn't get Heidi's confession out of my head the entire day. And the fact I didn't say anything back is eating at me as well. Because my heart knows the truth. But, there's no use for me to keep running from it when I know for a fact that I love her, too. There's never been a woman like Heidi in my life, and even though she is much more than I deserve, I can't give her up. I can't stand the thought of letting her go.

I considered doing just that today, and the fact that she confronted me about the guns tells me that we're fated to fail. She will leave me as soon as she learns about my secret life, and I don't know what to do about it. For the first time in my life, I am screwed beyond repair. I'm unable to come up with a plan to keep her by my side.

Heidi props herself on her elbow to face me. "Cal?" she says, worried. "Did something happen?" Her brows are creased as she studies me, clearly concerned about my silence.

I shake my head, trying to reassure her. But I know she needs more than that. And honestly, the words are stuck in my throat, threatening to choke me if I don't let them out.

That's why, without thinking, I let all my feelings out, not caring about the consequences.

"I've been thinking about what you said to me last night," I start, noticing her eyes widening in shock and realization at what I'm referring to.

Her mouth opens and closes, but no word comes out as she stares at me in disbelief. I don't think she was expecting me to bring this up now. Or ever.

"I wasn't sure if you meant it or if it was just... you know... something that you said without thinking, but..."

"It was," she confirms, her expression serious and determined. Her voice is also firm, not cracking the slightest. It's like a new, confident Heidi just stepped up, letting the insecure one go. "I didn't want to scare you or anything, I should have kept it to myself. I just-"

"I'm glad you didn't," I tell her softly, removing a strand of hair from her cheek. “You know... I've gotten used to being alone, Heidi. I never thought I would care for someone like I care about you. I never imagined myself experiencing what I have with you now."

She swallows hard, her eyes barely blinking as she listens.

"And I don't think I deserve you, I really don't," I emphasize when I notice her wanting to disagree. "You're way more than I could ever wish for, but now that I have you, selfishly, I don't want to let go of you. I want more and more of you everyday." "Cal..." she whispers.

"Because I have fallen in love with you, too. Deeply. And even though it scares the shit out of me, I can't think of moving forward without you in my life," I confess, noticing tears swelling at the corner of her eyes.

Her beautiful, hypnotizing, dreamy blue eyes.

Every time I stare at them, it feels like I'm on my way to heaven, being forgiven of all of my sins.

A sob escapes her, but before I can continue with my confession, Heidi jumps on me, kissing me deeply. It's a different kiss this time, though. Even though the passion and the fire is still there, there's so much emotion in it, so much depth, that it disorients me for a moment.

"I love you too," she murmurs against my mouth, pulling away from me just enough for us to be able to look each other in the eyes. "You've always been so kind and thoughtful to me. You always make me feel seen, heard, and cared for. And even though I've had people looking out for me my entire life, it just feels different with you. I feel safe. I feel... alive."

The word safe rings a bell inside my brain, but I ignore it.

She has no idea how wrong she is about that. Because she's not safe with me. My life is anything but safe. But there is no going back now. I've already opened my heart to her. All I can do now is make sure I do everything in my power to make it as safe as possible for her to be with me.

I'll put myself at risk any time, any day, if that means I can make her as happy as she makes me.

I cup her face and slowly pull her toward me again. Our lips collide once more, and my tongue asks for permission to explore her mouth. She grants it, and in less than a second, we're acting like we haven't just had sex less than an hour ago.

The good thing is we didn't put on any clothes after our shower, so there's nothing in the way this time to slow the process. Heidi is on my lap in a blink of an eye, her legs straddling me. I slip on a condom from the drawer next to the bed and then guide her hips as she adjusts herself before sliding herself down on me.noveldrama

I grunt, my grip on her waist tightening as she begins to ride me. A couple of minutes is all it takes for us to reach climax again, Heidi collapsing on top of me as she tries to catch her breath.

Heidi is no longer in bed by the time I open my eyes. The sun is already up, and I look around trying to find her .I don't even know when or how I fell asleep.

Before I freak out, Heidi steps out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, her long hair wet and splayed around her shoulders.

"Good morning," she says cheerfully with a big smile on her face. "I hate to have to leave you in bed like this, but I promised Grandma I'd visit them this week."

"Do you want me to take you there?" I offer, sitting on the bed.

Heidi shakes her head, reaching for her dress. I should really get her some clothes to leave here at the apartment for whenever she wants to spend the night.

"I'll head home and get changed, then I'll call an Uber. We can see each other tomorrow. I've kept you busy a lot lately, so you can take this opportunity to catch up on work-or whatever."

I feel like disagreeing with her, but she's right. I need some time to myself, to think of my next steps. Having her here every night is great, but it stops me from making reasonable decisions.

I need to figure out what to do. I hate to let her leave by herself, but I can't guard her 24/7. She wouldn't let me anyway. And I don't want to freak her out, so I end up agreeing, even though it kills me to know I won't see her beautiful face again until tomorrow.

As soon as Heidi is out of the door, I grab my phone, texting Tony. 'Meet me at the bar

as soon as you can.'

Heidi leaves, and I drag myself to the shower before getting dressed and heading to work.

My office door opens as the clock hits 6:00 that evening, and Tony walks inside, looking as sharp and elegant as ever. He looks a bit tired, but I guess that's what a life being a dad, a husband, and a mafia boss does to you.

"Having trouble with the woman already?" he asks in a teasing tone as he closes the door behind him and flops onto the couch.

I raise my brows at him. "How do you know I called you to talk about women?"

He shrugs, gesturing for the whiskey. "I doubt you have news on the cartel or you'd demand I come here as soon as possible. Also, I know you. I can see that look in your eyes, like you're in too deep, which is a weird ass look on you."

I curse him, pouring both of us a glass. I hand one to him and sit in the chair across from him. "Things are getting serious between us. And I hate lying to her. But I don't know what to do. She found my guns at the apartment and confronted me about them. I can't tell what she'll do if she finds out the truth," I admit, taking a deep breath and sipping my drink.

"Do you think she won't stick around if you come clean?" Tony pries. "She confronted you about the guns, but she didn't leave, did she?"

I shake my head. "No, but I'm not sure I was able to convince her. I came up with a pretty shitty lie."

"Still, she stayed. Any other woman would have run out of the apartment when she

saw something like that. You need to give it to her straight. She seems very brave, if you ask me."

Because she is, I realize.

Maybe Heidi will understand where I'm coming from. Maybe she knows who I really am and will accept everything about me, even the shittiest parts.

"She might not want to be involved with someone like me, though," I note. "Having guns to protect yourself is one thing, but being the head of a mafia gang is another thing completely."

Tony gulps down his whiskey, staring at me over the glass. "You won't know until you tell her, man. There's no other way to do it. You'll have to come clean sooner or later.

It's best if you do it while you're not in that deep."

Fuck that. I already am.

So deeply in love with her that I can't imagine a life without her in it.