Indebted to the Mafia King

*Heidi*

I blink once, twice, my brain struggling to make sense of the words that just came out

of Cal's mouth.

Irish Kings?

What the fuck is that?

Why do I recognize this name from somewhere?

But where...?

Then it occurs to me, like a meteor hitting me straight in the face.

Irish Kings...

That's the name of the Irish mafia gang in New York. I have no idea why or where I remember it from, but I might have read about them at some point in the past, or heard about them on TV or in the news.

"The Irish Kings...as in, the mafia?" I ask, hoping that saying it out loud will convince me that that isn't what he meant because that would be utterly ridiculous.

The whole idea is stupid. Even repeating the name sounds idiotic to me. There's no way I fell in love with a mafia boss. Is there? This is not a fucking movie. This is real life.

I remember joking about it once with him in the car right after we met. He slammed on the brakes so hard that we were almost rear ended. I had no idea how close to home I'd hit back then, but now, his reaction makes so much sense to me.

Cal's looking at me with a painful expression, as if he'd rather be hit by a bus than be here with me having this conversation. "It wasn't something you needed to know. I didn't think we'd get close like this. I didn't want you involved in that part of my life because it's not safe." His eyes darken with unsaid words. Words I desperately wish he would say because this is insane. "When we got serious, I wasn't sure how to broach the subject."

I huff, crossing my arms. "Telling me the truth would have been a good start." I hate being rude like this, but I feel so betrayed and stupid right now that I don't know how else to deal with this.noveldrama

"You'd still be mad at me if I had, wouldn't you? I didn't want to lose you, Heidi. I didn't want to lose what we have," he explains.

I feel so overwhelmed right now that I don't even know what to think. Cal is a mafia boss. I got involved with someone who runs illegal businesses. I don't even know what he does. I don't know this man, and yet, my heart is shattered as if I just lost the love of my life.

Because that's what he is, isn't he?

I was beginning to think Cal was the kind of guy I read about in the books I love, the man I would eventually marry. I was beginning to believe the stars had aligned and that we would one day get married and have a little family, with kids running around the house. Just thinking about it used to put a huge smile on my face. But now, it feels like my entire world is collapsing. I don't know what to believe in anymore.

"You lied to me," I remind him. "You hid who you were from me this entire time-and what you do for a living."

Cal inhales sharply, not taking his eyes away from me. "I had to."

"Right..." I roll my eyes.

"Do you realize what could happen to you if the wrong people found out about us? Just being seen with me makes you a mark. I left you in the dark to keep you safe!"

"You LIED. You lied about the guns to my face. You had a chance to tell me the truth-" "I didn't have a choice!"

"So, what now?" I ask, edging toward him. "What do you actually do, then? Go around killing people, dealing drugs-"

"It's more complicated than that."

I narrow my eyes at him. "I've seen the movies, Cal."

"Then you have a wild imagination." He narrows his eyes at me.

"So you have killed people?"

He doesn't answer me. He simply stares into my eyes.

I gasp in disbelief. "You have," I murmur more to myself than to him. Realizing Cal has

blood on his hands makes it all seem more real, more believable.

And that seems to be the final nail in my coffin. The end of our relationship.

Cal takes a step forward, moving closer to me, but I raise my hand so fast that my shoulder cracks.

"Don't. Don't come near me," I tell him in a warning, firm tone. And this time I really mean it. He won't be able to persuade me about this. I won't fall for his charms anymore, even if the dark look in his eyes is making my body betray my mind. "Heidi..."

"I don't know what I'm more upset about," I continue, a bitter taste in my mouth. My eyes sting from unshed tears, but I shake them away. I won't cry. "The fact that you lied to me about all of this or that you're involved with the fucking mafia. I mean, not involved. You run a fucking syndicate. That's what you do."

A cocky smile tugs at the corners of his lips but otherwise falls flat. "I do. Here, and back in Ireland."

"And you're proud of that?"

"It's who I am."

I wait for him to say something else, to grovel at my feet and beg me to stay, but he stands firm, his feet braced for a fight.

"That car you saw? That was because of me. They know about you Heidi, which is why you needed to stay ignorant. You're never been part of the live. You've seen the movies and read the books, sure, but this is real life, and you're in danger-"

I shake my head before he finishes his sentence. "I don't want to hear another word

from you." I clench my jaw and point at the door. "I want you to leave."

I barely recognize my voice. I'm doing my best not to cry before Cal is out of my apartment. I won't let him see how he's shattered me. I won't allow him to see my disgrace.

"Is that really what you want?” he whispers, remaining in the same spot on the other side of the room, not attempting to get close to me again.

"Don't," I snap back. "I can't trust anything you say to me anymore. I want you to leave, Cal," I rasp, hot tears threatening to flow down my cheeks. "I should-I should call the police, shouldn't I? Since I have a murderer in my apartment!"

Another ghost of that cocky smile has my body begging to just run to him, and my heart and mind are at odds. He's not sorry. He's the opposite of sorry. This is who Cal really is, and I'm just collateral.

"My friends on the force would love to meet you," he smirks, shaking his head.

My heart thuds. Of course, he has cops in his back pocket. It suddenly strikes me how real this is. I got involved with a mob boss. I need him to go. I just need him out so I can... so I can think.

He exhales deeply, running his fingers through his hair before dragging his hand down his face. With a slightly bored sigh, he says, "I'll have some guys keeping an eye on you. Just to make sure you're not being followed-"

"I don't need your protection. My life was safe, normal, before I met you. If I need protection now it's because I met you." The words taste like venom in my mouth. Tears are rolling down my cheeks now, and it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. The pain is so physical and intense that it makes me feel like I'm out of breath.

"I need you to understand that you're being hunted," he grinds out with obvious frustration.

"Like I said, I don't need your protection," I cut him off once more. "Now, go!" I order, a sob coming out of my throat.

Cal takes me in for another second before ducking his head and turning to leave. I watch as the door opens and closes behind him, and that's when I let it all out, not even caring if I'm loud enough for the neighbours to hear me.

How stupid was I to let myself fall for him? What did I get myself into? Everything we had seems like a complete lie now. I don't know what to believe in. He said he loved me, but how can I believe it when all this time he's kept so much from me? Important things...things that involve my safety. My grandparents' safety. How can I know if our relationship so far has been truthful or if I was just being misled by the illusion of who Cal made me believe he was?

I don't know what to think anymore, and it feels like I'm dying.

It hurts so much...