Rush: Part One & Two (The Pitstop Series Book 3)

“Passport? Plane tickets? Backpack?” Adrian sounds nervous, which brings a smile to my face.

“Got it. Got it. Got it,” I promise, but he still doesn’t calm down. He’s running around the house, searching for who-knows-what, and never even stops to think about what he’s doing. “Adrian, we’ve got everything. Relax,” I say with a firm tone, and he stops to look at me. He nods and picks up his backpack before squeezing my arm. His hand reaches out to my throat, and he gently tilts my head to the side.

“It looks awful, Val,” he tells me, and I roll my eyes right before I zip up my jacket and put my hood over my head.

“There, nothing to see anymore.” Adrian frowns but doesn’t argue with me. He calls for a taxi. Today, we’re flying out to Melbourne for the first race of the season. The circuit is located around Albert Park. Our trip to Australia will take a day, and I don’t look forward to sitting for that long.

The taxi arrives at the same time as Gabriel. He is wearing black sweatpants, sneakers, and a simple, white shirt. Gabriel stops walking as soon as he sees me, and I have to grab Adrian’s arm. I can’t talk to him. I can’t have the same conversation again.

“Valentina,” Gabriel says, and I squeeze Adrian’s arm.

“Back off, mate. If she wants to talk to you, she will.” Gabriel’s eyes narrow, but when he sees my pain-filled expression, he drops it. Usually, I wouldn’t hide behind Adrian, but I don’t have the energy to deal with Gabriel.

When we get into the taxi, Gabriel sits in the front, and I sit behind him. The drive is primarily silent, except for a few things Adrian and Gabriel discuss. Involuntarily, my eyes shift to the outside mirror of the car, and I find Gabriel’s reflection staring at me. I look away and pretend I never saw him. My phone vibrates, and I look down to see a text from Evangelin, wishing me a safe trip.

For so long, I’ve had bad luck meeting people I could connect with as I have with Evangelin. She listens to me, understands me, lets me vent, and I love hearing about Carlos and their relationship. Evangelin is much like the grandma I never had. My real grandma never understood my dream. She didn’t understand why I wanted to become something so ‘unfeminine’, in her words, something mostly men are.

Grandma died when I was very young, and Grandpa was devastated. He hid it well from us, but Adrian and I knew he was heartbroken. It took him years to be able to smile when Grandma’s name was mentioned. Now, he is with her again, probably talking about who ate the last barbajuan. Every Sunday, they would have the same conversation, arguing over who was the culprit. To this day, neither of them knew it was either Adrian or me who ate it.

The three of us walk through the airport, check in our luggage, and find the security check. I make sure no one notices the bruise, and as soon as I’m through security, I pull my hood over my head again. We sit down on the seats near our gate, and Adrian excuses himself to go to the bathroom. Like an immature teenager, I put on my headphones and turn up the volume. I’m afraid Gabriel wants to talk to me.

A couple of minutes pass when all of a sudden, Gabriel holds up a piece of paper. Can we talk? I shake my head and pull my feet onto the chair. There is a sad expression on his face, but he looks down at the paper again and starts writing. Please, Val. I’m so sorry. Once again, I shake my head. It’s not that he rejected me, but this whole chaos threatens our friendship. Valentina Esmèe Cèlia Romana, you know we have to talk. He is right; we do need to speak, but not now. As soon as we start talking, I’m going to start feeling things.

Adrian comes back, looks at Gabriel and me, and frowns. I focus on myself and close my eyes when my favorite song starts playing through my headphones. My fingers fumble with the string from my hood absentmindedly, and I think about what to do. Naturally, I come to no conclusion.

They call our flight for boarding, and we make our way onto the plane. I sit down in my seat, and Adrian attempts to take the one next to me, but Gabriel appears behind him and whispers something into his ear. I don’t know what it is, but it makes my brother move away and sit down in a different one.

“I broke up with Kira,” he states as soon as he sits down, and my mouth drops.

“What?” is the only thing I’m able to croak out.

“Yeah, it was time. We were both miserable. She wants to pursue her acting career, and I need to focus on mine. Kira is nice, but she’ll be better off with someone else. I don’t want to be with someone who disrespects you,” he adds in the last sentence, and I look at him with shock. He flashes me a wonderful smile with his dimples.

“Well, I’m sorry then,” I blurt out, but he can tell I don’t mean it. The selfish person inside of me is thrilled to hear he broke up with her.

“No, you’re not.” I look away from his smug smile and shake my head while one dances onto my lips as well. “I care a lot about you, chérie, and I hope what happened yesterday won’t stand in the way of our friendship.” There it is, the reason I didn’t want to have this conversation.

“We both know the uncomfortable situation from yesterday will always be embarrassing for me. I put myself out there, waited for you to kiss me, no, I asked you to kiss me, and you let me think you were going for it…” I pause and take a deep breath before I can continue. “How do you expect us to go back to just being friends? We’re screwed, Gabriel, because I can’t go back.” I’ve been waiting years to tell him this. Gabriel leans back and pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. He’s thinking about what to say.

“Val, I’m terrified of my feelings for you. I won’t deny them, but I also can’t address them without risking everything between us. You’re one of my best friends, compassionate, open, and I know I can always count on you. If things go wrong between us, I will lose you forever, and I can’t,” he rants so quickly, I have trouble keeping up with him. Once his words have registered in my brain, and I understand his fear, I can finally speak.

“I get it, Gabriel, but how do you expect me to keep on suppressing how I feel?” I ask, turning him speechless.

When he doesn’t say anything for a few moments, I get nervous, but I don’t push him. It wouldn’t be fair of me to expect him to have an answer ready for something like this. I simply put my headphones back on and play some random songs. My eyes drift to the window, and I feel his hand reach for my hood to force me to look at him, but I resist. My hood falls completely, and I glare at him.

“What is this?” he asks, concern laced in his voice. I have no idea what he’s talking about for a moment, but when I realize, I panic.

“It’s nothing,” I snap. The last thing I want is for him to get mad at James. They seem to have enough problems with one another as is.

“Valentina, please tell me who did this to you.” I choose to ignore him, and he groans beside me. “Why are you so stubborn?” My blood boils, although I know the only reason why he called me that is because he’s worried about me.

“Why am I stubborn? Why are you so confusing? Why do you act like you have feelings for me and then decide that ‘we can’t’? Why do you have to be the only guy I’ve ever-?” I stop myself and flinch. Great job, Valentina, really fucking smart.

“What?” His lips move away from each other, and the shock is evident on his face.

“Never mind,” I tell him and attempt to pull my hood back up, but he takes my hand and stops me from doing so.

“Does it hurt?” he asks me, the concern stronger than the shock.

“Yes, but you hurt me more.” Gabriel lets go of my hand, and I’m finally able to put my hood back on. I look out of the window again.

Ten hours go by without Gabriel speaking to me; ten hours of listening to music and trying to sleep. Eventually, I give up and pull out my favorite book. I get lost in Vincent and Kate’s love story. They don’t have it easy either, I tell myself, but they also have the supernatural to deal with. Gabriel and I don’t. We only have to deal with the fact that Gabriel can’t decide what he wants. When I get to my favorite part of the book, I swallow the lump in my throat. I look over at Gabriel, but he’s asleep. Why can’t I like someone who’s available, I’ve known for years, who cares about me, and I know will treat me well? Someone like James… wait? James? Yet, here I am, stuck on a man who keeps finding ways to hurt me without even realizing it. My mind lingers on James a little while longer.

Then my focus shifts back to Gabriel. He told me he couldn’t lose me, but I am prioritizing my crush over our friendship. People have been dying, leaving, and disappearing out of our lives, and I don’t have the heart to break both of ours.

I poke his arm, and his eyes shoot open. Ten hours gave me enough time to think and make a decision I am probably going to regret. Gabriel removes his headphones and looks at me, confusion on his face.

“What’s wrong, chérie?” His hand reaches out, and I take his in mine.

“I’m sorry about earlier. If you give me a little time, I can go back to being friends. I promise, I just need time.” Gabriel studies my features. There is a short pause. No one says anything, neither of us moves, but I can see the conflict in Gabriel’s eyes.

“I don’t want this to be painful for you like it is for me,” he says firmly, and I suck in a sharp breath.

“The alternative is not speaking at all. Would you prefer that?” His eyes reveal his indecisiveness.

“Of course not, but you’ll suffer with me constantly being around you. Trust me, I know,” he points out, making me realize he’s right.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” I try to tease, but this whole conversation is dreadful. I’m embarrassed, whether or not he admitted he has feelings for me too. I should be excited knowing he does and that he’s finally single again, but instead, we’re having one of the most confusing and draining conversations I’ve ever had.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

“I can’t be the only guy you ever dot dot dot, or wherever that sentence finishes. You need to be with someone who isn’t as broken as me, chérie. I can’t do that to you,” he admits with shame, and instead of trying to understand him, I get angry.

“Okay, then leave, Gabriel. Please switch seats with my brother and don’t speak to me again.” I place my headphones on my ears and turn away from him. This was, by far, the worst way I could have reacted, but it’s what I do. As soon as I realize ultimately where this would end up, I push him away to avoid humiliation. It’s wrong, and it hurts him, but it protects me.

Adrian is next to me then, and his hand wraps around mine. I tell him nothing but that I am tired and probably going to sleep for the next two hours until we have to catch our second flight. He nods, and I rest my head against his shoulder. My heart hurts in my chest, and I remind myself to breathe every once in a while.