TABOO TALES(erotica)

Despite her words Jason saw that she was interested. ‘Look,’ he said, ‘just look around you El, and tell me if you’d want anyone here.’ He nodded his head at a group of three teenagers at a nearby table. ‘What about them? I’m sure they’d like to dip their dirty little wicks in you and tell their mates about the little slut they made out with. Or him -‘ His eyes flicked to an older man with his family ‘I’m sure he’d love to have a piece of you too, but I bet he wouldn’t tell the little woman at home with the kids. Or what about that guy over there? Can you imagine sleeping with him? You’d need to boil yourself in disinfectant afterwards.’ He smiled at his sister. ‘They’ve all got baggage, just like anyone else you see. Isn’t that right?’

Ellie looked at each the men he had indicated. Jason’s point was exaggerated, she knew: if it were true nobody would ever hook up with anybody and the human race would expire. But perversely, because of Henry Soames he was right – even though he couldn’t know why.

‘Now look at me,’ he continued. ‘I’m a good bet, Sis, and you know that. You don’t have to give me anything you don’t want to. It will be safe, discreet and fun. So why not take the chance?’

She turned her eyes on her brother. He was leaning forward with an intense expression on his face, and she realised that although she had lived with him all her life she really hadn’t looked at him before – not in this way, at least. She tried to imagine how she would feel if he wasn’t family – would she be attracted? He was handsome, that was for sure, and although he could be irritating, annoying and sometimes a downright pain in the ass he was, essentially, honest and kind hearted. She thought that he loved her, too – not in the way that lovers might, but as a person, and that counted for a lot.

But would he be like the others? Did he just want to play and then discard her like a piece of trash?

‘So why me?’ she asked. ‘You could have any girl you wanted.’

Jason laughed softly. ‘My record is shit, El, maybe because I haven’t found anyone who turned me on.’ He licked his lips and for the first time she understood he was nervous. ‘Until now, that is.’

‘You think flattery will get you what you want?’

‘No, no, I don’t – but its true. I – uh, well, I think you are everything I’ve ever wanted.’ He laughed softly. ‘That sounds really corny I know, but it’s true.’

Ellie regarded him for a long moment. For the last few nights she had laid in her bed and fantasised about the very things he was now suggesting – but there was a huge difference between thinking about it and doing it. It was crazy talk… stupid and reckless – but why not? Why not take a chance? He was a safe bet, just as he had said.

‘I’ll think about it,’ she replied at last.

Jason nodded. ‘Thank you.’ He glanced at the few remaining slices of their dinner. ‘Do you want any more?’

‘I’m done.’

‘Would you like to go somewhere else? I know a nice bar around the corner.’

She shook her head. ‘Let’s go home, Jason.’

They didn’t speak on the way home, for both were thinking of what had been said. Jason marvelled that he had had the courage to say what he had, and wondered if she had been offended; and he thought that perhaps he could have said it better – but what was done was done. She was thinking about it, anyway, and he was content to let her do so in silence.

Ellie’s mind was in turmoil. She had gone to the flicks with her same old brother and now, a few hours later, was sitting next to a new one who had boldly asked to share her bed. The thought excited and terrified her. All of the reasons she shouldn’t do it filled her mind: fear of discovery, fear that it would go too far – fear that things would never, ever, be the same again. She thought that it was lunacy – that she should end it now, before they both got hurt: but the worm of desire in her heart craved for the excitement that he had promised.

Jason drove into the garage and turned off the ignition. They sat for a moment in the silence, listening to the ticking of the engine as it cooled. The car’s headlights reflected off the garage wall to illuminate his face: filled with an expression of longing. She felt her heart swell suddenly, filled with an irrepressible need that could not be denied, and she turned her face to his and he leaned over and kissed her.

It was a kiss unlike any she had experienced before: soft and filled with tenderness. For a moment she sat stunned, and then his hand cupped her face and the tip of his tongue brushed hers, and in an instant she felt her insides melting. Little tingles of electricity seemed to flow through her body, as if long dormant nerve endings were suddenly awakening, and she felt her body arch in response as she opened her lips to accept him.

It seemed to go on forever, each moment better than the last. Her senses tingled as if he had magically awoken them: every touch and taste and sound somehow intensified a thousandfold: the creak of the seat as she moved, the soft whisper of his breath and the taste of his mouth; his fingers on her skin. She felt the pounding of her heart, like a drummer’s beat – boom, boom, boom and a sudden bloom of moisture at the juncture of her thighs, seeping into her pants. In sudden desperation she grasped his head, her fingers in the strands of his hair, and she held him closer and felt as if her heart would burst.

At last he broke free. ‘We’d better go in,’ he gasped. His voice was ragged with emotion. ‘They would have heard the car.’

‘Yes, yes.’ She was confused, dazed by what had happened. ‘I – uh, I’ll think about it, Bro… you know, what you said.’ He said nothing but she could see him nod, a little movement that reflected the hope, a wish, in his dark eyes.

‘I promise,’ she whispered, ‘I’ll let you know.’

‘I could come tonight. If you leave your door ajar I’ll know.’

Ellie stepped from the car and looked back at him. ‘No,’ she said. ‘No, no – it’s too soon, Jason – I… I need time to think. I must think,’ and she turned and ran, her mind reeling and filled with fear and exhilaration.

Jason climbed out of the car and locked the garage door, and walked slowly to the house. His mother was there and she looked up as he entered.

‘Is everything alright, dear?’

‘Sure Mum. We had a nice time.’

‘It’s just that Ellie – well, she seemed out of sorts,’ she said. ‘She just ran upstairs with hardly a word.’

‘She’s fine, Mum. She was complaining about a sore tummy earlier, so its probably just that.’

‘Did you lock the car?’

‘I did.’ He smiled at his mother, noticing for the first time the little mannerisms she shared with her daughter: the way she held her hands, the way her eyes crinkled at the corners when she smiled. It was as if his awareness of Ellie had opened his eyes to other things, too.

‘Will you be staying up?’

Jason glanced at his watch. ‘I might do a bit of work in my room,’ he said. ‘Goodnight, Mum.’ He bent to her face for a kiss.

‘Good night, son.’ She watched him walk to the door. ‘Jason.’

‘Yes?’

‘Are you sure everything is good between you and Ellie?’

‘I’m sure Mum,’ he said, and he hoped that it was true

*

Ellie turned out the light and lay in the darkness of her room, thinking. She had done so since coming home, but somehow nothing had been resolved: the river of her thoughts poured through her head in a torrent of conflicting emotions. She remembered his words in the restaurant: You’re everything I’ve ever wanted… I’m a safe bet… take a chance, and she recalled the taste of his mouth and the softness of his breath. She saw again the look in his eyes, like those of a lover; and she remembered the frantic beating of her heart when he kissed her.

Cold logic told her that what he wanted could only lead to ruin and despair and she should move on and forget; and then she felt his lips on hers and heard again his final whisper: if you leave your door ajar.. . and her heart sang out. I want him. I want to do this. Just a few more kisses, nothing more. She rose on silent feet to open the door but the little voice of reason called out again, telling her that the price was far too high; and so she sank back on the bed and the cycle of her thoughts rolled through her head in a cycle of indecision – don’t do it, don’t do it… but I want him, I need him.

Jason heard his parents climb the stairs and the click of their bedroom door, and he waited in the darkness of his room. He had tried to work but could not, for visions of his sister filled his mind. A week ago he could not have imagined thinking this way, but now it consumed him… she consumed him. He had tried to reason too, but the same answer came back every time: I want her. He glanced at the clock beside his bed and saw it was past eleven, and he waited still, his heart beating in the quiet of the night, waiting until the house was truly asleep.

At half past eleven he slipped from his room. The house was in darkness and he made his way slowly, his fingers on the wall as he crept down the corridor. A floorboard creaked under his foot and he stopped to listen, his heart beating fast, but there was no other sound and he edged forward again until he was at her door. He had promised himself to turn back if it was shut – for trust was a precious thing, but it was too dark to tell and so he pushed it gently with his hand, and with a leap of joy he felt it open.

Ellie was listening to the sounds of the house: branches on the window scratching in the night breeze; the click of the roof cooling and the soft call of a nightbird from the garden. She heard a creak of a floorboard and her heart soared, pounding, pounding; but then it was quiet and part of her was glad – and then she heard the creak of the hinges and saw a patch of pale grey at the door where before there had been black.

And then he was at her bed, his fingers reaching out to touch the curtain of her hair and her eyes and nose and mouth. He heard her breath, as gentle as a whisper in the wind, and beneath his fingers he imagined he could feel her heart beating like a trapped bird.

‘I’m frightened, Jay,’ she said softly, and he smiled at the old nickname she had used as a child when they played together. It brought back memories of how she’d climb into his bed and they’d whisper stories to one another until their mother scolded them to go to sleep. And now he was at her bed again but for a very different reason.Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

‘Suppose they find us?’ she asked.

‘They’re asleep, El.’

‘But suppose they wake up?’

‘They won’t. There’s no reason for them to come in here.’