Chapter 49 See What Is Important
… Ana POV…
Sitting here next to his bedside, I cannot help but think how close Ethan came to his death. Out here, reality is real, the enemy is ruthless, and they shall not think twice about taking your life. Take how that man came into the camp the way that he did; it reminds me that we are not safe. We might be amongst the best trained Marines in the world, but catch you off guard only once, and it spells your end.
They say that you should not be foolish when it comes to the danger you put your life in, but this is what these men live for. They thrive and live on the edge; the danger is what makes them push themselves to a limit. By all honesty, I can say that it was not a desire I had from the start, and I still do not have it. I am still here only for Ethan; yes, I serve a bigger purpose, and it is one that I do not take lightly. These men here need me, and yes, I need them to remind me that we are here for a greater good.
But Ethan shall remain the reason why I am here. He is here to fight for those that cannot fight for themselves. I am here to make sure he gets back here safe every day. But I do have a nagging question that I wish to present to him when he wakes up.
So it is here where I sit far into the day, and come dawn, Ray sticks his head around the corner.
“We are heading out. I know he is going to be disappointed. Just keep him in that bed.”
“Ya. You tell that to a stubborn Marine. Though I think that he might be out the whole night from the pain medication I have given to him.”
With that, Ray and Ethan’s squad sets off to head through the forest. I can for a fact say that he is going to be disappointed, but even if he was awake, there was no way that I would let him out with his wound still being so fresh.
I then check his dressing and make sure that he is comfortable before I lay my head gently on the bed next to him while holding his hand tightly; there is no way I am going to my tent and leaving him alone.
In no time, I drift off to sleep, but then the nightmares set in.
…Ethan POV…
As I come to, I find myself still on the hospital bed. But I am not alone, for Ana is lying next to me, and she seems to be fast asleep. Without waking her up, I try to move my shirt to see where they have patched up the wound. Yes, I did kind of freaked out at the thought that there was more damage than could be seen. So I most embarrassingly decided that now is a good time to pass out, and that is with half of my squad standing in the tent.
Just as I start to peel away the cover of the wound, I have a hand come flying from the side and slapping me.
“Don’t you dare do that?”
“But I want to see it?”
“You can see it when I need to change the dressing.
“Please?”
“No! Now lay down! You are still going to be dizzy from the painkiller that I have given you.”
“But I feel fine.”
“Then try and stand up for me.”
But as I try to move my ass from the bed, I feel a newfound urgency to crash to the floor, for my legs are not working with me. For one, she has taken off my stump and the other, and I do feel dizzy as she said I would. Then another fear strikes me.
“My leg, he stabbed me in my leg.”
“Stitched you up; it is not bad; he caught you higher up, much closer to the top of your thigh.”
“And the…the…”
“Don’t worry, that is safe between us.”
“Who is us?”Content is property © NôvelDrama.Org.
“MacKenzie, Ray, and me.”
“Oh god, yes, they do need to know everything. Ah well, I guess…”
“Don’t even dare to finish that sentence; you are a great Marine. You have been through two days of hell. You are not always going to be strong. God knows I have not made it any easier for you to be when I run around acting like a child.”
She does not understand; this is not about feeling strong; this is about proving yourself not only to your squad but also to yourself. All the heart and soul that you have put in to get here, one weak moment can take this away in an instant.
But I need to forget about what I am experiencing, she has just been through a great ordeal, and she is sitting here with a smile on her face. I know that she is trying to be strong for me; I guess we both should stop being something we are not.
“Hey, boo. Look at me. Tell me how you are doing?”
I watch as her face now geniunly lights up, just hearing me saying that nickname that she has grown to love.
“Are we…?”
“Yes. Of course, we are okay. I don’t think I can ever get myself to leave you completely.”
“Ethan, I am so sorry. I was so stupid.”
“We are not debating your ability to think; I want to know how you are feeling?”
“Hey, watch your mouth!
“Then answer my question?”
“I…I am getting nightmares, I can’t stop seeing his face in front of me. Do you not feel the same?”
“We are not talking about me. Please, you don’t have to answer, but did he touch you?”
“No…no, he did not, but I am even scared to say that he was so close.”
“God, boo, I am so sorry, please come here.”
I pull her off the chair onto the bed, well it does hurt like a bitch, but I am not going to show her. That is what I think; she knows me too damn well to know that I almost can cry like a baby.
“Very clever, aren’t we? Let me get you another drip.”
“While you up, will you grab me a bottle of water as well.”
“I think you are taking advantage of your situation.”
“Only advantage? I am going to milk it for as long as I can. Now, what else can I convince you to do?”
“Ethan! You are in a tent.”
“You will just have to be quiet then.”
“We both know that I am not, so just go and scrap that idea from your head.”
The fact is that I have missed her so damn much; I don’t care if we just lay in each other’s arms for the next couple of months. Well, I would not have it any other way. I guess that having a near-death experience has an impact on your life; after all, I should know. But I am not even two days at camp, and I am almost getting myself killed again.
…Ana POV…
Something is biting at Ethan’s mind, and do I even dare to think that it could be the same that is on my mind. I don’t know how you come back from being killed almost twice. He is strong, and yet he shows his softer side when he is around me, but he is not showing me that side when it comes to talk about this. He is brushing this off, yes, all these men out there will think and feel the same, but they are not the man I love. I do not want him to be a broken man again, but something says that we might already be late.
“Now it is my turn soldier, how are you feeling?”
“Apart from a pin cushion, I am fine.”
“So what, you are happy when someone tries to kill you?”
“Boo, there is nothing that we can now do; just thank our lucky asses that we are alive.”
“I cannot see how you can live so casually with it.”
“I am not, of course, I am shit scared; why do you think I passed out? I don’t want to go home with another body part gone.”
“Soldier, if you know that any of this would have happened, would you still have come?
I watch him twirl the words around in his head. I am not sure if he is trying to get an easy answer out or if he shall now be honest with me.
“You know, soldier, admitting differently does not mean that you have failed, it just shows that your priorities have changed.”
“Boo, you are always my priority, don’t ever think that you are not. Even though we might have made decisions that we might now think was wrong, I have never stopped thinking about what it is that you want.”
“Then can I ask you this question, you do not need to answer now, or you might not even want to answer at all. But ever you say, please let it come from your heart and not from the heart of a Marine.”
He looks at me somewhat concerned at the seriousness of my statement, making him worried about which way this question might go. But there is no other way than just ask it.
“Soldier, if you have the opportunity to go home. Would you go home?”