The Soldier Next Door

When I stepped off the bus this morning, I never knew and could hardly ever have imagined that I would find out that Ana is pregnant. Now I can’t say it is a complete surprise, for, well, I kind of could not keep it in my pants. This was bound to happen sooner or later, and I can honestly say that I am grateful that it did not happen at camp. Well, it sort of did, but at least she is not pregnant and deploying.

The mere thought that I, half a broken man, am becoming a father brings another accomplishment to mind. I am still a boy, learning to be a man, but now I am going to be a man that needs to learn how to be a father. This is terrifying; I can take a mission head-on but put a little life in my arm. I am about to learn a whole new meaning to life.

Now there is only one life that has become important to me, apart from Ana’s, that is. I might not be holding my child in my hands, but I know exactly what Ray means. Yes, Ana cannot deploy anymore, and if you asked me, she would not have, even if she was not pregnant. But I will still be deploying, and now more, I am leaning towards taking Ray’s offer. But the thing is, where does she raise the child? Alone at Pendleton or here where my mom can help her?

“Soldier, I want to raise the child at Camp Pendleton.”

“Alone, boo? Here you will at least have my mom.”

“Please hear me out. Just think about it. Please, soldier, do it for me. Just think about it. Think about us and our baby’s future. Do you really want to be stuck raising a child in this little town?”

What does this smalltown offer? Besides the weekly drama Maggie provides, not a hell of a lot, really. What future does my child have here? Maybe he can become the mechanic in old Jo’s car repair shop. I kind of get Ana’s drift; there is no future for a child here.

“Please just think about it, soldier. You don’t have to answer me now. But what I want now is to go home and rest, I am feeling tired.”

“Sure, boo, it has been quite an exhausting day.”

After I finish off my coffee, we head out and make the way back home. As we walk down the street past all the familiar houses, I can’t help but think; this is the only home I have ever known. Apart from when I left for the Marines, I never once thought that I would ever leave it completely behind. Now I am faced with that decision, and I don’t know what to do. The answer should be easy, but why do I feel that it isn’t.

I also need to ask myself if I want to leave my family behind. I am sure we will be able to visit, but those will be very few and far between. I would love for my child to know his grandparents and, of cause his uncle too.

This is such a hard decision. But it should not really be for the only two that should truly matter is Ana and the baby. The thing is, does she really want this. I think she does for know Ana as a woman that knows exactly what she wants, well, perhaps sometimes.

“Ana.”

I stop her before we head through the gate to the front door. I turn, and I look at her; for the first time, I really look at her. Her big deep brown eyes take your breath away as she looks through your soul. Her plump, velvety lips melt like chocolate on a hot day. Her hands are strong but at the same time gentle. Her long dark hair is falling like a waterfall down her back. Her delicate body. Her lack of makeup. In her, I see true beauty.

“Why, Ana now?”

“Because I want you to know that I am serious.”

“What is wrong, Ethan?”

“I love you. You gave me something I never thought I could ever have. Love. And now I want to give you what you need. A family. And if it means our family goes to Pendleton and we both can fulfill our dreams, then that is where I will take you.”

She does not say a word, but it is the tears forming in those big eyes that says it all. She is happy. She pulls me closer. In her embrace, the world stops still on its axis. There is no time, no wind, no rain. How could it be that I have not seen this all before? This is the love I have waited for, prayed for. A love like this is to be cherished for life. It does not matter where we are with her; that is where my home is.

“So we are staying at Pendleton?”

“Yes, boo, I don’t want you guys anywhere else but near me.”

“Thank you, soldier!”

“Anything for you, boo. Now let’s go tell everyone the good news.”

She turns to me with nothing but that beautiful smile on her rose-colored cheeks, “Somehow, I think they already know,” She points at my mom and dad that is peaking out from behind the curtain, and Matt and Katarina from behind the door.

“You guys are not very discreet about it.”I burst laughing at their boldness.

Matt is the first one to stand out from his poor attempt at a hiding place, “Hey bro; I only wanted to see if your dumb brain has caught up to your head.”

I lift a hand and smack Matty behind his head, “Aaahhh, what was that for?”

“For not telling me earlier.”

“Where is the fun in that? And it is not my fault you are as thick as a bullet.”

I cock my head and raise my brow at him, “Should it not be a doornail?”

“I don’t think you even know what a doornail looks like, soldier boy.”

My mom that cannot keep herself in check for a minute longer, comes running towards Ana and me and squeeze us in her arms, “Congratulations, you two. Now when is the day?”

Ana looks at me, somewhat nervous, “Uhm… we kind of don’t know that yet.” But mom only heightens the pressure, “You must have it in summer. The gardens at church are always beautiful in summer.”

“Church?” I nervously laugh, “Gardens?” Ana hysterically chokes.

After finally being able to breathe again for a brief second, I look at my mom, “What does that have to do with when the baby is born?”

“I am talking about your wedding, silly.”

“Maggie.” I only sigh and only shake my head. “Maggie,” Ana adds.

“Yes, Maggie, my mom says. “She said she is doing your flowers.”

“Mom, that bat is crazy. We are not getting married. Well, at least not just yet.” I smile and wink at Ana; her cheeks flush all red. To think that gorgeous smile that is attached to that woman is all mine.

Matt that is watching this awkward exchange. Just before he topples over from laughter, he feels the need to make his own comment of observation, “I was just going to say that is the weirdest way for a proposal. I glad you caught quicker onto that one than the morning sickness.”

“I am a man, a clueless one, if I may add. What the hell do I know about morning sickness?”

Mom that does not miss one part of the conversation, turns to hold Ana’s hands again, “Well, when are you seeing the doctor next?” She asks, gladly changing the subject at hand.

“We… Uhm… I don’t…” I hear as Ana tries to find the words.

They might have listened to our conversation, but they have no idea what we are really talking about. Well, I know what the expectation is, for it was mine until be decided otherwise. To say my mom is going to be devasted would be an understatement. She is not going to see Ana for most of her pregnancy and then for big chunks of our baby’s life. If this is going to be hard, then it is going to be the hardest for her.

But I need to remind myself this is for my child and for nobody else. I love my family dearly, but it is time I leave the comfort of my parent’s home and start a family of my own. And if Ana wants to do this alone at Pendleton, that is what we decided she would do. But it still does not make this any easier to break the news. I have no idea how my mom is going to react.

Ana looks at me; I know she is not telling, so it is left up to me. I feel like a schoolboy that has just knocked up his girlfriend, that is about to do the dreadful ‘What do you intend to do?” speech to my family, well fuck! I don’t have all the answers, except, “There is something we need to tell you guys.”

“How many more surprises can you have in one day?” That is the first thing my very curious father says.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.