Through You: Chapter 34
CLAUDIA
I love you.
Three simple words. Why can’t I say them? Why do they get stuck in my throat every time I try? What’s stopping me? I explore deep inside my head and in my heart, looking for a reason and a logical explanation. Am I not in love with him? No, it’s not that.
Artemis has always been the love of my life, and occupies a place in my heart. Even when I refused to admit it all those years ago.
So then, what is it?
I love you. Please forgive me, Martha. I was drunk, I won’t do it again. I swear on the love we have. I love you.
As a child, those were my father’s words after he would hit my mother. The constant use of I-love-yous between other proclamations. At my tender age, as time went on and the beatings persisted, I learned that those I-love-yous were lies and meant nothing. We never hurt the ones we love.
After we ran away from my father and ended up on the street, my mother met other men while we squatted in abandoned caravans and condemned buildings. These men promised her a better life and many other things if she worked for them, trading sex for money while giving them a cut of what she earned. That was when I heard those words again. I love you, Martha. And again, they were just lies.
It seemed, to me, that those words were often used as tools by people who wished to manipulate and justify keeping someone tied to one place until they delivered their next blow.
Perhaps in my subconscious those words still have a bitter taste. Even if they’re just words, they trigger an unpleasant sensation in me when I’m about to say them. Which is the opposite reaction I have when Artemis says them. All I feel is a reassuring warmth in my heart when I hear him say those words while looking at me with his chocolate-brown eyes filled with emotion.
Am I totally screwed up because I’m incapable of saying a sincere and honest I-love-you the way he does? An I-love-you that’s not tied to negative memories from my past? Just a genuine and pure I-love-you? I don’t want to say the words just for the sake of saying them. I guess I need time.
“Claudia?” Kelly, the other intern at the company, calls my name. “Are you listening to me?”
“Sure, sure.” She frowns a little but lets it go.
“I was just telling you that Carl loved your marketing proposal for the next project.”
“Really?” I say, holding a hand to my chest. Carl is the right-hand man for my boss, Mrs. Marks. I spent several nights doing market research and devising the perfect strategy to promote the company’s new condo development, which will kick off construction in the coming months.
“I have to admit, I’m envious. I’m pretty sure it’ll be chosen during this afternoon’s meeting. They’re going to let us sit in so we can watch and listen.”
“I have to get ready,” I tell her, and get up to go to the bathroom to fix my makeup. If they choose my proposal, I’m sure they’ll have questions to ask, so I should make myself presentable. I need to hide these huge circles under my eyes, which will be worth the trouble if my idea is chosen. I hope it will be my first project.
I look in the mirror and give myself words of encouragement.
“You can do this. Hard work does pay off.”
I walk out of the washroom and stop dead in my tracks when I see him. You have to be fucking kidding me. It’s Alex. The man I almost kissed the night I went to Artemis’s club. At least he disappeared before anything could happen.
He’s wearing a light-blue suit and no company identification, unlike the majority of the staff, which means he’s likely the head of a department. This is too much of a coincidence. I turn around and I’m about to go back into the washroom when Carl calls to me and ruins everything.
“Claudia!”
I press my lips together and begrudgingly turn around to face Alex, who greets me with a handshake and doesn’t appear at all surprised to see me here. Carl introduces us. “The chief financial officer is paying us a visit today. Sir, this is—”
“We’ve already met. Haven’t we, Claudia?” The playful tone in his voice does not go unnoticed. Carl gives us a puzzled look.
“How do you know each other?” Carl can’t help but ask and I sigh, feeling uncomfortable.
Well, you see, Carl, we almost kissed but he disappeared before things went any further.
“From hanging around,” Alex replies.
“Carl!” Mrs. Marks calls him to her office. Carl excuses himself and rushes off, leaving us alone. Before this gets more awkward, I decide to clear things up. But he beats me to the punch.
“There’s no need to worry. Artemis is my best friend.”
“What?” I didn’t expect that.
He smiles at me. “That night at the club, I left as soon as I realized you were the girl my best friend has been pining for his entire life. I was also the one who called him to come get you.”
I take it all in. That’s why Artemis arrived out of the blue.
Now everything makes sense.
“I have to say, I’m glad your friend interrupted us and told me your name. I don’t think Artemis would have ever forgiven me if I’d made out with you.”
Well. It’s a small world, and it certainly loves to put me in strange situations. Although there’s nothing strange about Artemis’s friend hanging out at his club.
“Let’s start over again,” he says. “Nice to meet you, Claudia.
I’m Alex.”
“Nice to meet you.” I smile at him, but the smile fades when I immediately realize this could have other implications.
If Alex knows I work here, and he’s Artemis’s best friend . . . could it be possible that Artemis knows? I sincerely hope not.
“What’s wrong? You look pale.”
“Does Artemis know I work here?”
Alex is momentarily taken aback by the question, yet the guilt I spot in his eyes is a dead giveaway.
“He won’t meddle in any way, shape, or form,” he reassures me with an easy smile. “He promised.”
That little liar. He’s known all along and has been playing dumb. Oh, Artemis Hidalgo.
“Well, I’ll let you get back to work. It was nice meeting you, Claudia.” He waves good-bye, and I let out a long breath.
“Excellent proposal, Carl!” exclaims Mrs. Marks after Carl is done presenting my idea. I lick my lips and feel nervous because I know he’ll soon call my name. Everyone is clapping and I stare at him with anticipation. But Carl says, “Thank you. Thank you.
It was an idea that came to me out of the blue.”
My mouth opens, and my heart drops. He’s talking about the idea as if it was his, and getting all the credit, when I was the one who stayed up nights working on it.
“Wow. You’ve really impressed me this time, Carl,” adds Mrs.
Marks. I forget how to breathe. It’s unbelievable. Next to me, Kelly looks tense. The meeting comes to an end and people start to make their way out.
I wasn’t expecting this at all. I’m paralyzed with disbelief for a few seconds. And then I snap out of it just before everyone heads for the door, and I stand up.
“Excuse me, I have something to say.” Everyone stops and looks surprised that the new intern is speaking up when we’re only there to watch and listen. “This idea—”
“Claudia.” Carl cuts me off. “You are only here to watch.
Please abstain from sharing your opinions.”
“It’s not an opinion, I—”
Kelly takes my hand and gives it a tight squeeze and then whispers to me.
“Don’t do it. If you confront him in front of everyone he could fire you.”
I bite my tongue because I know she’s right.
Everyone else leaves when I remain quiet. Carl gives me a smile as he walks by on his way out.
“Goddamn bloodsucking thief!” I bang my forehead against the desk. “How could he do that? How could he shamelessly take my idea? He didn’t even hesitate for a second.”
“I know,” Kelly agrees. “I guess that’s the way things work here. The higher-ups take advantage of the newbies to further their careers and make an impression.”
“It shouldn’t be that way.”
“Tell me about it. Carl stole my campaign idea for a commercial mall the company is building next year. He presented it as his own last week.” Kelly takes a sip of coffee. “I didn’t find out until I was given copies of the proposal and noticed that it included my idea. It was a punch in the gut, so I know exactly how you feel.”
“Is there anything we can do?”
“Complain? To our boss? Carl’s her favorite.”
“She has to have a boss, doesn’t she?”
“She’s the department head. Her boss is the CEO.” She snorts.
“As if we could talk to the head of the company.”
Artemis. I bite my lower lip, thinking. And then I shake my head. I’ll find a solution on my own first. I get up and make my way to Carl’s office. He looks annoyed when he sees me.
“Yes?”
“Why didn’t you give me credit for my idea? It’s not fair, and—”
“Claudia, you’re an intern. Your duties don’t include developing entire campaigns for the company. I made the decision to use your idea and develop it. You should be flattered.”
“It’s my idea.”
“No one is saying anything to the contrary.”
“Then why did you tell everyone it was your idea at the meeting?”
He sighs, stands up, and slips his hands into the pockets of his pants.
“What were you looking for? An ego boost? If I had presented the idea as yours it would have sat on your desk collecting dust.
As I said, introducing new projects is not part of your job description. No one would have paid any attention to your proposal.”
Anger speeds through my veins. No matter how elaborate his explanation or excuse is, it doesn’t change the fact that what he did was wrong.
“I want you to tell Mrs. Marks the truth, and I would like a chance to take the lead on the development of my proposal.”
He snorts and laughs. “And what if I don’t?”
“I’ll tell her myself.”
“Okay, go ahead.” He shrugs. “It’s the word of a new intern against mine. Go on, run along and let her know. But one thing is certain, I’ll make sure you’re not hired once you complete your internship.”
“You’re an idiot,” I tell him before I leave his office and head to see Mrs. Marks. She’s on a call when I arrive, and I have to wait for a few minutes before she can see me.
After I finish telling her everything, she says, “Oh, Claudia. I had no idea. Unfortunately, even if it was your idea, Carl is right.
As an intern, I can’t assign you the responsibility to lead a project of this magnitude. He has more expertise to flesh out a concept like yours. But I’ll make sure that you get some credit at the next meeting for the idea, okay?”
“I—” I actually don’t know what to say.
“I’m a little busy. So could you please go back to your desk?”Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.
That didn’t end as I had hoped it would, but at least I didn’t stay quiet.
Kelly takes out her lunch bag and opens it when it’s time for our break. The smell of bacon hits my nose, and while I’ve never been overly sensitive to smells, I can’t help but grimace with disgust when she’s not looking at me. I discreetly cover my mouth and get up from my chair. I come around my desk and head to the washroom. I have the urge to vomit.
“Clau?” I hear her voice, calling me from behind.
“Washroom,” I murmur before I disappear down the hallway.
I hurry into one of the stalls and lean over a toilet to empty the light breakfast I ate this morning. How disgusting is this?
I turn around and rest my back against the stall. What’s wrong with me? This is the second or third time I’ve thrown up this week, and I’m getting scared.
My stomach gets upset when I’m about to get my period. But I’ve never vomited.
And I can’t be pregnant. I started taking the pill six months ago to help regulate my hormones. I would have never allowed Artemis to finish inside me if I wasn’t taking a contraceptive. I’m not an idiot.
So then what’s happening to me?
Could it be the stress of the new job? Maybe all the years of working full-time while studying part-time are finally taking a toll on my body.
I come out of the bathroom feeling a little dizzy. Unfortunately, I find myself face-to-face with Carl. He’s the last person I want to see at this moment.
“Oh my, Claudia. You look pale. Are you all right?”
“Don’t worry about me.” I walk past him, heading back to the desk I share with Kelly. But the nausea returns the moment I spot her still eating, so I walk by.
“I’m going out for some air,” I inform a disconcerted Kelly.
I instantly feel better when the fresh air hits my face.
Perhaps it was the tension of the work environment in the office. I find a bench and sit down. I stretch out my arms and lean back. I try to see all the way up to the top of the Hidalgo Enterprises building.
Artemis, you’re probably up there busy working, wearing your fine suit, giving off that icy detached vibe that fools the rest of the world into believing you’re not warm and don’t possess a gigantic heart.
I’m still looking up when a shadow moves in, blocking my view. I lower my gaze to the person standing right in front of me.
It’s Artemis. Mr. CEO of this giant company. My heart starts to beat faster and my lips slowly curve up to form a smile. He has the gift of making me feel safe when I’m not feeling well.
Yet he’s not smiling; his expression looks serious, and I can read worry in his brown eyes.
“Are you okay?” His voice calms me.
“Yes, I just needed some air.”
“You look very pale.” He extends his hand to gently caress my cheek, and the gesture makes me briefly forget where we are.
“You’re freezing, do you want me to take you home?”
I take his hand in mine, and take it off my face.
“I’ll be fine.”
“Claudia.”
“Artemis,” I reply playfully. But he’s not playing along, and looks worried. “I’m fine, besides, I only have a few hours left before I finish for the day.”
“Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to work like that, I’ll—”
“Artemis, I’m okay.”
He twists his lips and sits down next to me. Our hands are intertwined. I remember that we’re sitting right outside the company building, and I move my hands away. He arches an eyebrow.
“Does it bother you if someone sees you with me?”
“No.” I shake my head. “But this is my place of work and I think if people see us together it’ll create complications. Haven’t you heard about sexual harassment in the workplace?”
He points to himself. “Are you accusing me of something?”
“I’m just kidding. Still, it’s not good for us to be seen together,”
I tell him in all honesty. “When we’re not at work, it’s a different story.”
“Stop trying to seduce me, Claudia. I innocently approached you to make sure you were okay, and you come up with this.”
“You? Innocent?”
He rolls his eyes.
“I am.” He leans back next to me. “I was a lonely iceberg until a fire girl came along and melted me, robbing me of my innocence.”
I laugh and lightly punch him on his shoulder. “I really missed your overly dramatic takes.”
I’m hit by a wave of nostalgia, and think back to all those times Artemis would come up with creative and overly dramatic lines to justify himself as the victim. I stare at him like a fool.
There, in the light of day, I examine every detail of his face—his light beard and the tiny wrinkle that forms between his eyebrows—when he catches me staring.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
I arrive at the realization that when the moment is right, I’ll tell him exactly how I feel about him. And that it doesn’t matter that he’s already made his declaration while I haven’t. What binds us together is stronger and more resilient, beyond what anyone could ever imagine.
In spite of what happened this morning with Carl, Mrs. Marks, and the discomfort I feel, I’m very happy right now here in the company of the man I used to call Supercat when I was a little girl because he was going to protect me against all evil. I want to stay like this for the rest of the day. However, life has a way of complicating things when we least expect it, which in this case, is the moment right after I stand up, when I become dizzy, faint, and end up in the hospital.